A Walk in the Woods                                               February ’23 roll call              Bobbie Mardis

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Well, officer, here’s what happened.

My birding club had a contest. I chose to go in Piney Woods because I figured it would be full of birds. It was tough going. I half-crawled, half-climbed my way through thick underbrush. In the process, I lost my phone. Should’ve kept it in my backpack.

 I finally got to a clearing and sat down to rest ‘cause I was exhausted and feeling light-headed. Vines had tangled themselves around my feet so I got out my pocket knife and started cutting them away. I had to laugh. I was completely lost and birds were flying all around me, but without my phone, I couldn’t record anything. The last thing I remember is taking a swig of water from the bottle I’d brought, feeling faint, then blacking out.

Honestly, officer, I have no idea how my knife got stuck in that dead body.